No Coffee? HOLY CRAP!
by POPSIE 1956
There’s the old phrase “Don’t know what you got until it’s gone.”
For one of my co workers, this was especially true yesterday, in a very frightening way.
This co worker, I’ll just call him “Chris”, is an Account Executive.
At this point, a number of my friends in the local broadcasting field know who I’m speaking of.
“Chris” is a nice guy, quite successful, and very down to earth.
The major problem is, “Chris” has a massive monkey on his back…
and it’s in the shape of a coffee bean…
I have never seen any one human being, and I am assuming “Chris” is such a creature, consume so much coffee in any one day, with no immediate clear signs of caffeine overdose.
He’s so chilled out Kurt Cobain in his 2014 state would be manic compared to “Chris”.
He’s also extremely predictable too.
Where I sit in the News Room, I look in the direction of one of the halls, in this case the hall leading to the kitchen.
You can set your watch by “Chris” as to when he makes coffee.
The first pot is somewhere between 8-8:30, closer to 8:15, the start of the business day.
The next pot is between 10:30-11, closer to 10:45.
He goes to lunch, and when he returns, the next pot is between 1:30-2, closer to 1:45.
There’s usually one more pot between 3-3:30, closer to 3:15.
Here’s where the “Rain Man” in “Chris” kicks in…
Nine times out of ten, it doesn’t matter how much coffee is still in the pot, it could be three quarters full…and he will throw it all out and start again.
A pot could be less than 30 minutes old, but it doesn’t matter to “Chris”, out with the old, in with the new.
By close of business, it’s as if Keith Richards had ingested a lifetime of illegal drugs in one sitting…no effect!
Truth be told, however, “Chris” has an Achilles Heel.
Yesterday was one of those days.
Another of my co workers in the News Room, John, came in for Early Morning duty, walked into the kitchen, and saw a big stream of water spraying out of the coffee maker.
The tube that feeds water into it developed a leak, so John had to turn the water off, and that meant no coffee for the various people who do Morning Shows etc.
It goes without saying there was a coffee run before everyone got too busy.
Come 8:30 and “Chris” comes in, the coffee maker is down for the count for at least the day…if not longer…
With all respect to the Hindenburg victims…OH THE HUMANITY!!!!! (Les Nessman did the same thing on WKRP with the turkeys so I don’t feel that bad).
This is not the first time we have had a day at work with no coffee.
We’ve actually seen “Chris” go home sick or take a Mental Health Day.
But no, he stuck it out.
I saw him in the kitchen shortly before 2, I was looking for a co worker (and was ready to make a coffee run myself).
“Hi “Chris”, how’s it going?”
“THERE’S STILL NO COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I walked away quickly.
It really wasn’t pretty.
As I write this, I am off from work today, so I don’t know the coffee maker status.
But I already have plans to hit the Dunkin’ Donuts tomorrow morning on the way in just in case.
And for the benefit of the rest of my co workers, I just may pick up one for “Chris” as well…