Screwing With Students Is Fun!

by POPSIE 1956

I’ve mentioned before it’s that it’s just my nature to want to help people, in particular to those wanting to get into my chosen profession of broadcasting, as well as those “newbies” who get an honest to God paying job (notice the lack of the word good) but haven’t really gotten their feet wet.

That’s why I took a gig some years back at a Broadcasting School in Albany NY as an Instructor (I prefer Teacher, but that’s the title the school uses).

I did that for about 10 years and had an absolute blast!

As any teacher will tell you, when you see one of your students succeed at “making it”, you couldn’t be more proud.

I’m lucky enough to say I have had quite a large number of my students who graduated and went on to do great things in the business, some still hitting it hard even today (and in broadcasting, that’s saying something).

A teacher doesn’t say if they had a favorite student, since all of their students are considered special.

Actually, if you’re even THINKING of getting into broadcasting, you are “special”, and not in a good way.

That was said of me when I decided what I wanted to do as well.

The most semi awkward thing involving a former student of mine was about 7 years ago.  The guy who was in charge of Programming in the Region for this particular company, essentially my boss, WAS a former student.

I’m happy to say, out of mutual respect, we kept it as employer/employee, and stayed away from student/teacher.

Today he’s a hot shot in Cali, despite what I taught him (lots of love KC).

What I will share with you, is one class in particular where I had the most fun out of all the classes I taught.

This was a class that met every Monday and Wednesday night for about 6 months.

I’m reminded of this from one of the students from those class, I’ll call him The Little Drummer Boy (T.L.D.B.)

Every Monday night, a handful of us hit the local Sports Bar to catch the end of Monday Night Football.

Among us was a guy I’ll call Self Proclaimed Chick Magnet (S.P.C.M.)

This guy was married, but he kept bragging how he could nail any babe he wanted at any time he wanted.

Looking at him, if the babes were blind and brain damaged, perhaps so, otherwise…uh, no.

We all knew S.P.C.M. was a bag of hot air, but he was a jolly sort, most chubby guys are.

Before anyone complains, I am also a chubby guy, well to be specific I’m a fat f*%k but I digress.

One Monday night I invite my wife at the time (Ex Wife # 2) to join us.

She knew all about S.P.C.M.

I don’t remember how it initiated, whether it was my idea, or Ex Wife # 2, of T.L.D.B., but it was decided she would “hit” on S.P.C.M.

I have to admit she did a wonderful job, sitting right next to him, hand FIRMLY on his thigh, and moving closer to the sweet spot, saying things like “Shadow (my air name at the time) is a real a**hole, he treats me like dirt, and he can’t get the job done..not like a real man…not you S.P.C.M.”

I kept adding to the drama, calling her every name in the book, and accusing her of having her way with the combined United States Armed Forces, and I may have included all of the horses involved in that year’s Kentucky Derby to boot.

It didn’t take too long for S.P.C.M. to break out in a cold sweat, wet the front and fill out the back of his pants.

He kept telling Ex Wife # 2 “But he’s my teacher!”

She answered “But he can’t teach you what I can…”

The goal of this whole gag was to break it to him by the end of the night.  It was not to be, however, as he got up and left us before we could.

And he didn’t come back to class for another THREE WEEKS!

Well Hell, I couldn’t tell my boss why he was gone, and I’d be fired in less than a heartbeat if HE told the boss!

I can’t remember what was said, but it didn’t involve that particular night, he came back to the class with open arms.

I believe I did eventually tell him of the stunt we pulled on him.

That’s important to know, because the next thing involving S.P.C.M. potentially could have been deadly for me, and I do mean DEADLY!

Come graduation, and a good number of the class were fortunate to get a job in broadcasting, including S.P.C.M.

He got a job at one of the local radio stations, and I have been told his behavior while under their employ was…strange.

A former co worker at the school, who was also employed at this radio station would tell me S.P.C.M. kept going wack job to everyone, trying to impress whoever would listen what a major impact he was making on the air.

He was going as far as mailing to HIMSELF cards, letters, AND PRESENTS, all addressed from listeners to let him know how much he was loved.

Remember I mentioned the word “special”?  Look it up and you’ll see his picture.

Move ahead a few months, and one morning I get up and turn on the TV News.

The LEAD STORY on EVERY newscast was about a HIGH SPEED CHASE after a guy in a station wagon heading to downtown Albany.

The guy was caught with a wagon full of SAWED OFF SHOTGUNS!

He ran from the cops and took them for a run through the Capital of New York.

Eventually they caught him, and on the newscast they mentioned his name and showed his mug shot…

HOLY CRAP! IT’S S.P.C.M.

Now I was the one with a sweaty face, as well as the wet and full pants.

The story said he was placed on observation at C.D.P.C., the Capital District Psych Center (a place I was familiar with from Ex Wife # 2 but that’s another story).

That night, I had to teach again, and as I’m getting settle in, here come the TV cameras.

They found out S.P.C.M. was a former student, and wanted something for a follow up on the story for later that night.

They ask “Do you know S.P.C.M.?”

“Of course” I say, and point to a drawing the class gave the school of the students from the class, including S.P.C.M.

That was the picture seen on the 11 PM News on all of the local stations, again as their lead story.

THAT one my boss at the school found out about.

I still have a hard time sitting down after that a** chewing.

So what of S.P.C.M. today?

Honestly don’t know, it’s not like I’ve had the desire to Google him as of late.

I will tell you this…

I plan on getting together with T.L.D.B. down the road…

First thing I’m gonna do is check his car.

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