“Step” Back Jack!
by POPSIE 1956
Two things; one, I owe my daughter Megan an apology for referring to our relationship in the early years of it as “stepfather” and “stepdaughter.”
Second, the word “step” anything, when it comes to families is bulls**t.
I was reminded of…that word…the other day, but before I get into that, some background.
I do not have blood related children or grandchildren for a few reasons, not the right time, not the right place, not the right woman, or to paraphrase Leonard McCoy, “This man is dead Jim.”
That might be TMI but it fits the story.
That does not mean I DON’T have children, or grandchildren, in fact I do, and I love them all and am very proud of them.
I’ve mentioned this before, Megan came into my life when she was 13 and I was…way more than 13.
I have always thought the way you were raised was how you raise your kids.
If I had had a child from the moment they were born, that theory might have worked.
It didn’t with Meg, we were at odds for a number of years to start.
Since I was not “blood”, she became my “stepdaughter,” and I was her “stepdad,” or “the jerk who married her mother.”
For some reason, that changed the day Meg gave birth to her first child, and my first grandchild Chris in 2003.
That day, I became a grandparent, NOT a “stepgrandparent.”
It seems awkward even just looking at the word now.
My grandsons only know me as their grandfather, or “the jerk who is their mother’s father.”
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now, the origins of this writing, it concerns my co worker Read Shepherd, nice guy, about my age (well, he’s a few months older but I’ll give him that one), and, like me, someone who has had, let’s say, multiple partners.
The other day, Read became a grandparent again.
I was going to say, in Read’s defense, “stepgrandparent,” but I’ll move on.
Read, let’s say, is slow to embrace the “grandpa” thing, adding that he doesn’t even LOOK like a grandpa…
Of course not Read….and I don’t look fat either…
He brazenly resists the ritual of the diaper change, which I find ironic, since we all know people in broadcasting are so full of crap it should be second nature.
And, I’ve seen pictures of him holding small infants in his arms, so it’s not like Kryptonite to him.
So while I’m confident he’ll come around to the “Grandpa Side” in time, it got me thinking more about this “step” thing.
What defines the words parent, grandparent, child, grandchild, etc?
One thing alone; love.
And, while biology does play a role, it is not a requirement.
When Meg was preparing to marry her husband Eric, we discussed what should be played for the traditional Father-Daughter Dance.
This song by Brad Paisley was always a favorite;
And, on the day of my daughters wedding, that was what we danced to.
So, I say we start a new tradition; take the next step, and drop the “step”