Did Cain & Abel Start Like This?
by POPSIE 1956
Sibling rivalry is one thing.
Sibling rivalry when the siblings are the same sex is something else.
Sibling rivalry when the siblings are boys? DAMN!
Now, perhaps sibling rivalry among sisters is just as bad, and if it is, so be it. From my vantage point, I can only speak of brothers, in this case three; two that go at it constantly, the third is way too young for now, but that one has something in his eyes that will say “me too” in time.
I’ve mentioned them a lot; Chris is the oldest, and he turns 12 in about a month (as of this writing). Zach hit 7 in the Spring, and Mason will make it to 2 in the Fall.
From the day Chris was born, helping raise a newborn into adulthood was a whole new world for me, I had no personal experience or reference point, but boy did I learn quickly.
When it’s the first grandson, like other proud grandparents, I spoiled him to death. I wasn’t there ALL the time to start since I was living about an hour away, but I think the quality time greatly outweighed the quantity time.
Five years later, here comes Zach, and there’s a new mix. Watch out though, go nuts over the new baby, but don’t forget the first kid.
Five years later, here comes Mason, and until fairly recently the scales of brotherly balance were fairly even for Chris and Zach, since it took quite a while for Mason to finally warm up to me.
Here comes the big problem; how to give quality time as evenly as possible to ALL three (near impossible but I make the best effort I can), and, more importantly, how to keep the Matter/Anti Matter Universe (Star Trek Shout Out) known as Chris and Zach from colliding, ending mankind’s existence as we know it?
When it was just the two older boys over to the house, it was a bit easier..Chris has been getting into what he calls “Me Time,” going onto my computer to play games and maybe attempt to find You Tube videos with F Bombs in them (if his mother is reading this…..uh…..I’m just guessing on that last one…..)
While Chris did that, Zach would watch TV, or play a board game, or play a card game, or ride his bike, and the balance worked.
But when the two of them do the same thing, fire in the hole time.
If it’s a card game, maybe Chris will want to try a new game he learned, which means he makes up all the rules, which means he would (most times) always win, which would piss off Zach.
If it’s a board game, being Chris is older, he has a better shot at winning, which he (most times) always does, which would piss off Zach.
If it’s a video game, sort of the same thing, Chris has a better grasp of the game concept, and would (most times) win, which would piss off Zach.
You can easily reverse the names in all scenarios and the end result would still be the same.
Now, it’s one thing if a child gets pissed off, and stomps away with a few tears…..not these two.
No, with these two, getting pissed off turns into a minor physical confrontation.
And the name calling…
And the accusations of cheating or not being fair.
Then there’s basketball, they love it, and they always want to play with me. However, I always end up in a no win situation…for ME.
Either it’s Chris and Zach against me, and Zach and me against Chris, or the two of them against each other and I ref, but it doesn’t take long before the finger pointing starts.
A few days ago, we’re outside playing. Zach got pissed because he kept saying Chris was cheating (which he sort of did, but to Zach, if he doesn’t get his way, the other guy is always cheating), he runs inside to blow off steam.
He comes out a short while later and I play one on one with him, and, what a surprise, he beats the pants off of me.
Now he’s happy.
So Chris and Zach play one on one, and I ref. Zach is holding his own quite well against his older brother, but I call Chris on a foul or two, which lets Zach win, now CHRIS is the one pissed off, but it’s not at Zach but Popsie.
Chris IS the sensitive one of the two, after all.
He eventually got over it but it happens every time.
Last night all three were over, and Chris wanted to play a game. I begged off due to being beat but Zach went out with Chris.
Only problem was, Zach didn’t want to play an actual game, he just wanted to shoot hoops, which pissed Chris off, and Zach knew that, based on the evil grin upon his face.
And so on and so on. These two kids love the other to death, but when competition comes to play, screw the other brother.
After a false start from the past year or so, he and I have really become good buds, he loves holding my hand and going for long, multiple walks up and down the street.
Which is really great, but then it takes time away from Chris and Zach, and while I haven’t heard it Chris, on one or two occasions, Zach, now the middle child, would say “Popsie, why does Mason have to be here?”
Mason is equally loved by both brothers, but believe me, it’s a nasty balancing act I have to try and pull off.
Sure it’s part of life, and things will start to change. Chris will go to Junior High in the Fall, a different school than Zach, which will create a chance for new friends for both, and before you know if, it will be Pre School for Mason.
But this rivalry will continue to grow, I’m sure. And once MASON starts sizing up the situation, this rivalry may hit critical mass.
People, I’m not a young man anymore, I’m less than six months from 60, I’m gonna need more medication if I’m gonna keep going.
But as I learned from the day Chris was born, and the day Zach was born, and the day Mason was born, and what I will carry to the box and beyond, because you love them, you deal with it.
But I’ll tell you this….
God help the Universe the day they start to get interested in girls!